Movie Review: Van Helsing

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Two words: Don't go.

I'm not terribly picky about movies. Even though I was a film major and happen to know the names of more than 3 different French New Wave directors, I'm just as excited as the rest of America when a reinterpretation of the classic occult/monster horror films comes due. So when Van Helsing promised me not only Dracula, but Frankenstein and werewolves, I was in line for tickets.

Unfortunately the movie just plain sucked. Van Helsing reminded me of xXx, an idea that could have made a killer movie on the fun-o-meter but got so lost in bad writing and direction (and in Van Helsing's case, bad editing) that I was literally laughing at the end during a moment not meant to be funny.

This movie is a lesson in how important "directing" is. They had a good leading man (Hugh Jackman), gorgeous leading lady (Kate Beckinsale), and nearly 100 years of film history to pull from. What we get is the worst portrayl of Dracula I've ever seen, incredibly poor execution of campy lines that try too hard to be like Sommers previous hit The Mummy, and complete decimation of at least 3 horror icons.

Even though the directing was bad, this movie might have been partially salvaged with a little more work in the editing room. But again, someone dropped the ball and the movie doesn't flow, at all. Sometimes this can be a good thing (as in the aforementioned New Wave cinema), but in this basic formulaic narrative, jumping too quickly leaves the audience wondering exactly what the hell is going on, putting attention back on the poor direction and writing.

Inspired Rating: Bored. The only reason I didn't leave was the hope that somewhere along the way, they might salvage the movie. That never happened. As a fellow moviegoer said "I wouldn't even pay to rent that movie".

3 Comments

I, in contrast, enjoyed the movie from the point of view of the action and the great job done making fantasy come to life via the "special FX". The creatures and their transformations looked awesome. However, I can't comment on the resemblence of these legendary monsters to their counterparts in the original black and white movies, as I have never seen them. And who cares anyway; there have been so many interpretations of these characters over time, this is just another version.

I do agree with you on one point - the backstory and development of the Van Helsing Character isn't very clear.

FYI, Movie reviews should not give away the ending as yours does. You should at least warn with a *spoiler warning*.

~Joey

You are absolutely right about the spoiler, my mistake. I'll correct that shortly.

And I agree, the effects were astounding. If a movie could suffice on that alone, this movie was a blockbuster. Unfortunately, there is nothing else sustaining this film and the "fun" level of the movie starts going south fast without even an ounce of character development (or at least good dialogue).

I loved the movie to me it was the greatest movie of all time but thats just my opinion.i loved all the special effects.

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